You Are the Sparkle of My Eye
by Jewel Queen
Summary: Sort of parody of Twilight. Quick, humorous story wrapped in fluff. Contains implied slash, almost pre-slash. Gimli's got his eye on Legolas and he doesn't miss a thing! Especially when that silly elf starts being all intriguing and stuff.


_Inspired by both Tolkien's sometimes able-to-be-twisted words (also I'm pretty sure a Gimli/Legolas fic that had Legolas state the fairer sex does nothing for him) and the laughable notion that vampires sparkle._

_Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, except for the humour. Crackish!fic, AUish following of movie plot, Twilight parody and some implied slash in a drabble-like form. Enjoy!_

There was something about Legolas that had been intriguing Gimli for weeks. But it had been battle after obstacle for the remaining Fellowship. And then, when Gimli got around to asking anyone, things got even curiouser.

"There's something right peculiar about that elf of ours," he asid conspiratorially to Aragorn as Legolas was out wandering through the forest in a semi-daze while they all rested from their search to find the missing hobbits Merry and Pippin.

"Is there?" the Ranger replied, not too worried. He would have been able to tell if something was stressing Legolas too much, but as the dwarf had gotten much closer to the said elf, there could be something he didn't catch that would have alerted one of them about the other.

"I could have sworn my eyes were playing tricks the first time I saw it, but it can't be the sun. I've seen it at nighttime too," Gimli spoke, muttering mostly to himself.

"What, master Gimli, what did you see?" Aragorn asked, his intrest now peaked.

"I swear by the Valar, if you look closely- though, the more you see it, the easier it gets for the next time- whenever he's in a good mood especially, he sparkles like the clearest diamond!"

"Legolas?" Gimli nodded. "I think you were right the first time, master Gimli," he continued, laughing.

"Bah," the dwarf said as Legolas started coming into hearing shot. "Just you watch,"

Legolas felt like he was being closely watched the following morning after his mind-resting. It disturbed him since he _knew_ it was Aragorn and Gimli though they were very discreet about it and couldn't prove it. It was starting to throw him off his balance as he was busied by wondering thoughts, paying less attention to his surroundings. Once they finally stopped for supper, he finally got his chance to tell them both off.

"Could you please not watch me all the time?"

"My apologies, Legolas," Aragorn said, dipping his head slightly as he smoked his pipe and last bits of weed. "You're just the most interesting thing to watch." He sent a quick look at the dwarf who was trying to muffle his laughter.

Legolas didn't catch it because he bowed his head and was busying trying to ignore the blush creeping up. "Try watching the tracks," he mumbled, walking away.

"There, did you see it!" Gimli shouted, pointing at the blonde whom turned around sharply. "Ah, never mind, it ran away now, Aragorn," he covered weakly, sharing a meaningful glance with the man that the elf did catch. He stomped off, muttering curses in elvish to himself.

"It went away quickly, but it was there," he explained in earnest.

"I'm beginning to think the reason why elves and dwarves don't get along is madness; one of you starts going crazy" Aragorn said, blowing smoke rings and ignoring the disgruntled dwarf beside him.

After confronting them once, it was a long time before the feeling of being watched came back. But this time they had rescued the hobbits and happily were reunited with Gandalf the White. Gimli found that it was a similar experience trying to convince the other three and Aragorn again. It ended up becoming a bet against his craziness with only Gandalf taking his side for all the twinkling of his knowing eyes. If Gimli managed to prove his sanity they each had to pay for his drinks on separate nights, but otherwise, the hobbits and Isildur's heir were content with the fact that they won and some of Gandalf's own smoking-weed.

Legolas was blissfully ignorant of their under-hand dealings behind his back, at least until the feeling came back almost triple the intensity. He tried to, shakily, take it in stride but after tripping over things when he was _riding his horse _he had enough. He stopped abruptly, not caring that they were in full sight and hearing of their Rhorhirrim rider escorts into Helm's Deep. "Why are _all of you_ watching me _again_?" he snapped.

"We're having a bet against Gimli and Gandalf," Pippin answered him before realizing his mistake when everyone glared at him. "Oh, was I not supposed to answer him?"

"Of course you were, hobbit! He's not supposed to know about the bet," Gimli said in his gruff voice off of Gandalf's horse.

Legolas glared at the dwarf. "What bet?"

"Tell us why you sparkle, elf!" Gimli retorted.

'Sparkle? Oh, no...' "I...I thought I explained it to you all," he said embarrassed. After all, he was sure he did. He remembered trying to cryptically but plainly state the fact so he wouldn't be teased about it. He sighed after seeing all of their blank faces and Gandalf's knowing grin. "Elves who sometimes have...difficulties finding a mate may...sparkle," he mumbled evasively, each word sounding as if it hurt him to say it out loud.

"Why would you have difficulties, Legolas?" Merry asked.

"Yeah, you seem right eligible, mate," Pippin continued. "All of you elves are something to look at, you know."

Legolas flushed deeply, knowing there was no way to easily back out of this mess thanks to the hobbits' curiosity. "I'm gay. That makes it a little more complicated to-" he trailed off and a smirk slowly appeared. "Wait, who exactly saw me sparkle?" Legolas' grey eyes gleamed and his smirk grew wider as Gimli blushed too. "You know, only potential mates are able to see me sparkle. Is there something you should tell us, Gimli?"

Gimli looked at the group and then back at Legolas. "I knew there was something intriguing about you," he mumbled.


End file.
